The Safe and The Sacred – Janie Walker – Oct 13, 2025

A message from a Richmond Hill community member on how they see it from up on the hill as we seek God’s transformation of Metropolitan Richmond through prayer, hospitality, racial healing, and spiritual development.

“Thank you so much for holding this safe and sacred space for us to do this work.” This was the compliment that came as a recent guest was leaving a retreat on dismantling racism. The compliment is akin to many others that have been offered as retreats here come to a close. However, this compliment seemed more impactful than usual. It could have been the intonation of speech, the degree of sincerity in which it was offered, or even that it came from a longtime acquaintance and facilitator of difficult conversations. Her use of the cumulative adjectives, safe and sacred, is what has continued to stay with me most. There is no doubt that her compliment was meant to honor the work, prayers and presence of all who live, work and volunteer here. Nevertheless, I took it personal as I felt my heart warmed by the sharing and the affirming of our intention to hold safe space for difficult conversations.   

  Early in my years of training and practice as a spiritual director and healing prayer minister, I became fully aware of the difficulty I would experience in holding safe space for others. I would so easily revert to my very human tendency to want to fix, give advice, or judge. Yet, I kept at this practice of holding safe space because I believe – no, I know – that it is crucial to meaningful living. I know because there are people in my life that I trust to hold space for me. They are those who have spent years supporting me in my own growth and transformation; and have walked with me as scales fell from my eyes. These are people who have made no attempt to take away my personal power or agency by trying to fix me, shame me or overwhelm me. They make up a team of people who have prayed for me, loved me and reminded me of who I am. Today, as I consider this great gift, there is no doubt that they were willing to lovingly and prayerfully set aside their own thoughts and preferences so I could make my own choices- even when some were not in my best interest.   

My own years of being nurtured by and practicing spiritual disciplines that require one to hold safe space for others have taught me that, like the cumulative adjectives, holding safe space involves double duty. On one hand it’s about honoring and validating someone else in whatever state they are in while being present to your own—not an easy practice. On the other hand, it begs the consideration of the manner in which we honor and validate one another.  Surely, making a space sacred is not our own doing. Any space has the potential to become sacred. We don’t always know what the full makeup of the space could be. We only know that the place, the people and the philosophies, love and trust they bring to it all make up that container, and ultimately contributes to the sacredness of its content. Sacred spaces become so when those present experience the space as holy and worthy of awe and respect. 

In considering all of this, there is the possibility that the guest who complimented us that day was unaware of her own contribution to the sacredness of the space. Perhaps she was unaware of the great gift she must have given to others in choosing to hope and devote herself to goodness in the space they held. No doubt, she and others were willing to sit with one another in whatever manner needed without judging or making one another feel inept. No doubt, she did not try to fix anyone or forge particular outcomes. No doubt, the safety and sacredness of the space grew as hearts were opened, unconditional support expressed and egos remained parked.

I would surmise to say that a lot of holding safe space is going on when sacredness is experienced. And, seldom do we hold space for others without discovering that someone is holding space for us. As a matter of fact, it is virtually impossible to be a strong holder of safe space unless we have others who will hold space for us. Even the strongest of leaders and the most skilled of facilitators need to know that there are people with whom they can be vulnerable and weak without fear of being judged.  And, it’s not something that’s exclusively done by trained professionals or caregivers. It is something that all of us can do for each other – for our partners, our children, our friends, neighbors, and even strangers who cross our paths. 

This complex practice, unique to each person, group and situation, may not be one that is easy to master, if ever. However, it is certainly a practice to learn and use as we are faced with increasingly more challenging conversations each and every day—we need the sacred.

Rev. Janie M. Walker, Former Co-pastoral Director

 – Janie Walker worked at Richmond Hill as a co-pastoral director until 2019. After moving back to Richmond this year, Janie recently spent a month sojourning here at Richmond Hill and hopes to stay involved as a volunteer.